70 Reasons Not To Date A Travel Blogger

International Travel Bloggers | Photo by @IndTravel

Traveljunkieindonesia.com – Here are 70 reasons not to date a travel blogger.

1. They are travel junkies.

2. They rather hold their bulky camera, than hold hands with you.

3. They use some smartphones for everything, freak!

4. They will analyse conversations in blog and social media.

5. They drink and eat all local kinds of weird shit just because they like ‘travel like a local’.

6. They think everyone else’s travel blogs suck.

7. Bright, sunny days make them fun. Apparently great!

8. On a romantic date, you’ll watch the sun go down and think “Wow this is gorgeous” and they’ll go with camera Sony Alpha NEX-7 and smartphones for update social media.

9. They spend a lot of time with people cooler than you i.e. models, actors, musicians, resort owner, successful rich people.

10. They like watching old adventures films that you’ve never heard or will ever understand.

11. They like looking at weird things in general.

12. They won’t return your calls or text messages, but you can bet they’re still blogposting on travel blog.

13. You can’t go anywhere new without them stopping to take a photo of everything and anything.

14. They always want to show a new blogposts they created, but don’t really care if you like it or not.

15. They hate Excel.

16. They want to save the world only with a travel blog.

17. You will spend the day brainstorming.

18.  hammocks, homestays, hostels, hotels, resorts, villas, Museums, beachs, forests, etc are their second home.

19. On a dinner date, he’ll be talking about his recent expedition in Indonesia, while you are forced to Google where in the world is Indonesia, on your smartphone.

20. You are talking about marriage while his thoughts are on a diving trip on the Togean Islands to Cendrawasih Bay.

21. You dream of building a house, he dreams of building a trail.

22.  They take pictures almost daily and all are cut in weird shapes.

23. You can’t take a photo with them without taking at least five more.

24. If you ask them if you look fat, they’ll say “don’t worry I can photoshop you later.”

25. They’ll never photoshop something simple for you if the content is not up to their “standards.”

26. They spend all their time on the computer for blogging after around the world and answering questions from people who want to travel to where he/she has been.

27. They’ll take you to hours meet days meet month meet years by motorbike, 4WD, bus, ferry, or flights.

28. They’ll tell you every city’s history that you visit. You will be forced to pretend to know that you are interested, even if the only thing that you like in  that city is the mall.

29. They skin is as tan as the Bajos or Maori, due to endless walking under the heat of the sun, just to save a penny.

30. They wears short pants of secondhand jeans and tenun Ikat from Indonesia for the simple reason of  ‘going local’.

31. They’ll talk to you about preserving the environment, local culture and sustainable.

32. Your dinner date topic will consist of politics, national treasures, UNESCO World Heritage sites, nature, and history.

33. You’ll be pressured to memorize all the capital cities of the world.

34. They are always on the go. Full of energy and ruthless spirit.

35. You’ll spend a lot of time in airports, which means increased pulse rate, annoying x-ray machines, unkind immigration officers and endless queue.

36. Additional things: recycled air, jet lag, turbulence, and lost baggage.

37. They read travel guides, marketing, branding, design, web development, politics, national treasures, UNESCO World Heritage sites, nature, and history books.

38. When you are going to tell you something, everyone has read it in their facebook and twitter.

39. They will fill your house with travel magazines and whatever is out there that has writings.

40. Everything is left justified, right or center unless they arrive late.

41. They hate Comic Sans with the same passion they love Helvetica.

42. You’ll never be able to enjoy tv, movies, or magazines because they’ll point out all the visual flaws.

43. They like to sit in obscure coffee shop and voyeuristically with locals for great lengths of time.

44.  You’ll never get to enjoy freshly cooked meals because they’ll spend 15 minutes taking 20 variations of the same dish with their smartphone.

45. Same goes with old used bookstores.

46. They are actually using you to not look so creepy as they people watch everything going on around you.

47. They rather drop $1,000+ on Eastern Indonesia trip than a purse for you.

48. Always carry their hands painted with something ‘tatoo like a local’

49. When arguing, you will be nicknamed like the Bangkok, Mumbai, Jakarta, and the other ‘hated cities’ in the world  (not affectionately)

50. Spa therapists is their second wife/husband.

51. On vacation they will take you to countries that you do not know exist and live like a local.

52. Instead of having penis-envy, they have smartphone or camera-gear-envy.

53. They’ll take you into places that have “culture” as well a high chance of getting mugged.

54. Nothing can ever be naturally pretty, everything must be fixed in Photoshop.

55. You can’t get them a birthday/Christmas present without spending at least $500

56. They know more outdoor and indoor positions than the Kamasutra.

57. They can’t go to a restaurant without secretly take some photos and how to cook like a chef in the kitchen.

58. They can´t cook a normal dish, they always have to experiment with new ingredients.

59. They listen to music you have never heard of.

60. The orgasm they remember is when they heard invitation or free trip from some brands and tourism boards.

61. They are love all about FREE!

62. They want to spend all the money for around the world trip.

63. You will never understand their gifts.

64. You wake up in the middle of the night hearing them screaming “Where’s the Next Stop?”

65. They are weird, geeky, and hippie.

66. They are always secretly judging your creativity.

67. They are love skinny dipping, naked, and naturist life.

68. They are always sleepy because they work 24/7 for branding their travel blog.

69. They orgasm every time they get a sponsor, advertising, support, donation for their travel blog and around the world trip.

70. They are the real travel junkie, web development, travel writer, designer, photographer, and marketer. Very BUSY!

Happy Green Travels!

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  1. This is hilarious!

    And I totally agree with most of these – with the Comic Sans thing. It’s a big Helvetica NO-NO…

    Happy travels & blogging ( :

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